Prologue
What makes a hero?
I don’t know. I have never been one. But right now, I can find an answer for you.
You first of all visit an obscure little planet called Earth. Roll the globe a little till you get Asia, India, Gujarat, Vadodara.
Ah……life. It fills oneself with joy and exuberance just to see a whole lotta bipeds walk around, chatter, fart, bitch behind each other’s back, kill, and get sozzled illegally in a dry state.
And maybe it’s fun to have aliens around in the backyard. Ruthless and all-powerful aliens zapping frenzied and scared human beings out of their demeaning little existence. Sheer pleasure.
Right there. Lock on to that handsome looking man, just in his 20s. Long, silky jet black hair, big blue eyes, no pimple on his face – not a slightest mark, well toned body – no flab, all abs. Confident posture, possesses leadership quality, doesn’t know fighting, yet he is the sperm of Rajnikanth – he will take on a hundred little aliens simultaneously without a scratch on his skin in time to come. He will learn how to fly an Alien Spacecraft without needing a manual, and he is quite well-conversant with their dialect. He will also bait the most beautiful girl on Earth and make her fall in love with himself. Quite pheromone charged up, he is. He will save the girl from the stronghold of the aliens and in the process will get enough time to save humanity. His name is Vismay.
How do I know all this? Hell, I created him. I know everything.
Yup, that guy will earn a name for himself, but this is not his story.
Now lock on to that fat piece of shit. That chaos in motion will not only get himself killed, but also the poor suckers running alongside him. There, he pushed that old lady in the path of the laser.
Poof. She vaporizes.
That shouting, tactless, scared to shit geeky noob doesn’t know that these aliens are extremely sound-sensitive. And his voice, when he is shouting, is class apart.
So when the alien behind the laser picks up this fat blob named Suyash on the radar, and when his soprano voice reaches via air waves, amplified by speakers, drumming at least a dozen of its ears, it clicks its tongue in relish.
That alien thinks to itself: I would love to turn this obese little dark man into a meaty pulp.
But inspite of the apparent ease with which it could kill him, the alien experiences difficulty in turning Suyash into a relishing meaty pulp.
You ask me why?
Because that god darn stupid man inadvertently keeps pushing others around him to premature deaths.
But don’t you worry. These aliens are extremely capable of dealing with such ‘shit things’. How would they otherwise come to invade Earth which is riddled with infinity of such ‘shit things’.
So, Suyash Singh is going to die. Don’t worry; he would first of all push a very intelligent and beautiful young lady to death, who, if not curtsey Suyash, would have survived this alien invasion. But then you know now, she was stuck with Suyash Singh.
So why am I telling you about this loser. Well, he is everything that a hero mustn’t do. He is not inspiring enough, brave enough and courageous enough, and so the book I am writing now about him would not sell like hot cakes.
But unfortunately enough for you reader who is stuck on this blog, this is his story and what he does after he dies…
Alienman 