Had it not been Sunday, I would not have killed him. But it was, and I had to.
You might ask why he deserved death. Does a sucker weed deserve the shit on which it blossoms on? No, but the weed doesn’t complain, just profligates. In a similar manner, via me, Snotface got an opportunity to get rid of moh-maya and enter a world of higher (rote!) learning…..!!!
Snotface was a well-condemned asshole! Not by the professors of course, that obsequious bastard lubricated their vanity with his fawning attentions, but by the general populace he was hated, with intensity. Snotface had another, more respectable name, Vismay, meaning astonishment. An apt name, one would say. Time and again, he shocked us with his blatant impudence. He took the phrase ‘Against the Wind’ to the grave. He would never agree on things that were decent and what-any-human-being-in-this-situation would have agreed. Not him! He was a master of perfectly bad timing! Imagine people around you hugging each other, increasing love in this hate-filled world, infectious smiles being flashed, boys coming closer to girls, girls allowing boys to get closer, festivals celebrated with gaiety, the shy lot who hardly spoke in the class gyrating in a convulsive, jerky and opium-induced delirium of a dance and there he was – a skinny, freckled, curly-haired shit face (a guy you would associate with surreptitiously watching porn in the dark!), saying that he would attend all the lectures in the class, come hell or fury. Bloody Noob.
And so, we connived against him! Not much of that, as that is Snotface’s thing. What we actually did was, to seriously mug up the study material just to wipe out that slimy, sticky smile off his face, just one semester! You see, that guy never helped anyone. He was secretive, a guy who took pleasure in other’s fall, an uncouth and not at all slick lecher.
Results came. Seven people scored more than he did in the exam. He was crushed and 90% dead. That anti-social animal got a tight whack in his pants. For full ten minutes he observed the scores, without moving from his position. I openly laughed at him. He deserved that.
He then stormed into the H.O.D.’s office, demanding ‘Rechecking’. What happened in that office could only be guessed by the raised voice of our respectable professor and though it was officially termed as ‘he was severely reprimanded’, the fact remains that after he came out from that office, he was 99.99% dead.
All he needed was a push. And I did push him, on a Sunday (I had free time on my hand) off the precipice that was a star-attraction of loners and unsatisfied lovers. There he was whimpering, green mucus coming out of his nose in dollops, yet afraid to kill himself.
I remembered my duty.
It is a prime duty of Alienman to get rid of the ‘dharti ke boj’ (burden of the Earth!) types. So I went ahead and pushed him. He was caught unbalanced and thus he tottered down to his death.
I was not interested in peeping down to check whether he had died or not! And in this manner, I got rid of a Well-Condemned Asshole!
Alienman 