5-Shituary-2013
Today diary, I am going to tell you a story.
Long time ago, in the future of human race, there lived a black hole with a most melancholic heart. No, no, he didn’t live in the periphery of the happy beings of the Earth, but quite far away, on the outskirts of this galaxy where it continuously gorged down a star with which it was entwined in a binary embrace. Homo sapiens, as you see, had evolved greatly from that gun-slinging, expletive-spewing crackpot. It now had the ability to channel its negative emotions via transduction cables into this black hole. A neat trick, don’t you think?
What it necessarily means is that, diary, the people on Earth were eternally happy. They weren’t capable of having a single negative thought. One single nanosecondy (sic) linger of a wish to kill one’s brother or to defile another body against its wish, would instantly send the transducers into overdrive and those thoughts would then swoop across a wide stretch of galaxy only to be sucked into that docile black hole, which unfortunately due to its nature (of sucking everything into it), couldn’t take umbrage at this gross injustice. As a result, the crime rate reduced to nil. Wars were no longer fought in the name of religion or territory. Happiness ruled the roost.
But all the residents of this happy planet felt sad (if the super efficient transducers allowed them to feel it for a nanosecond) for that poor black hole. So much so that the a poet known for his gimmicks, jotted down these few lines with a transducing-jotter, which is capable of writing prose in picoseconds, that gave him fame overnight. Here is what he penned down –
Oh nondescript, gluttonous hole,
We pump into you our dejections, perversions and all other thoughts sooty coal.
Unflinching, stoically do you bear,
Let our hearts’ blackness into yours, sear.
But unknown to the human-beings, this pumping of negative energy spelled disaster for a race living on the other side of the black hole. You see, there is no flow without potential. If we consider human beings as extremely negative race, and we establish a transducer connection via the black hole (worm hole in this case), there must be a strongly positive race living on the other side to whom these thoughts must be bombarded on.
And indeed there lived a society on the other side, fitting the above description. Unlike humans, who had the mechanical contraptions fitted into their mind, the other race was naturally transducing. You can say that they were naturally telepathic. This made them unfortunate guinea-pigs for this sordid experiment.
Results were to be expected. Crime rates soared, so did the fights between the various factions of the society. Their civilization splintered into millions of tiny fragments that were at loggerheads with each other and even within a fragment, there was a lot of infighting.
The story doesn’t end here, diary. Let me lacerate your heart further.
Have you ever heard about the Law of Equilibrium? Of course you haven’t. In layman’s terms, it is nature’s balancing act. Forward reaction must be equal to the reverse reaction.
Just as the planet on the other side reached its saturation point of vileness, the pump reversed its direction. Now human beings were at the receiving end of what can be called the double-whammy of the blackness which they had long shed and also what they had inadvertently generated in the other race.
Soon, both races discovered that there is another race on the other side of the black hole.
Both the races hired their best chemical engineers who constantly tried to shift the equilibrium so that they receive the eternal goodness which tossed back and forth the court in exponential decrease. It is easy multiplication, diary. 2 to 4, 4 to 16, 16 to 256, and thus went forth the vicious cycle of eternal badness.
Soon enough, there was not a scintilla of goodness left on both sides. Then, they all died.
Hope you enjoyed that, diary…
Alienman 